don't even tempt me, PLEASE.

I am a b*tch. I don't hide it from people, but I don't usually intend to be one in most situations. I'm really just a b*tch by nature. I don't try to be one or am one because many people see me as one. But lately, I've been very good.
I could finally control my eyes, the gaze that most people mistake as terrifying. You know the kind of look that starts from head to toe? That's the kind of look I usually use on people whom I don't like or I see doing something I don't like. I do that kind of gaze most of the time. And that is the very reason why I get into so many fights with people I don't even know.
Before, when I don't like something, I tell it to your face. When I don't like the way you treat my friends, I'll tell you what I feel without even thinking whether it could hurt you or whether my tone is very insulting. I speak my mind, most of the time. But now, I've mastered the art of thinking before saying. I've learned to keep some things to myself to avoid further unnecessary arguments.
I don't b*tch so much anymore. I learned to control by myself.
But now, today, something really pushed me to the wall! SHT.
I have this block mate of mine who, uhh, have been very sweet to me. But the day came that we argued about something so much that it lead to us not talking to each other. Eventually, we made up and he promised that everything will go back to the way it was. But it never did. He has been very close to other people since we had the argument and he's treating them the way he used to treat me before. And now, he's treating me like sht. He's very argumentative and very reprimanding towards me. I sincerely hate the way he's treating me. I wanna b*tch out on him so effin bad but ERR. CONTROL. FVCK. I want to slap him in the face, ask him what's the problem and really tell him that he's being very shtty lately. But, I've never been a b*tch in college yet. I don't want to. I don't plan to. I wish he could read this so he'd know that he shouldn't continue pushing me to the limit. I'm really near being a big b*tch again.
Hey! You! FvCK YOU VERY MUCH! (:

no matter how hard I try, i still can't forget.

Yes. By the actual meaning of it, I really can't forget that easily. But I always forget to update my blog. :P I'm so sorry, world. It's just because I've been way too busy with studying and I seem to forget my outlet of emotions, my blog.
I can't seem to conceptualize why studying now takes up most of my time but I know that I need to do so. Or if I won't I'll surely get a low grade fail. :( I'm purely angered by my Math17 professor when she says that her subject handled, College Algebra and Trigonometry is just a review of our previous lessons in High School. Well, a fvkingly tougher and more comprehensive review, that is.
As a matter of fact, I failed my first ever departmental exams .. in Math. OMG. I never thought I'd get to say that in my whole life. :( To think that my whole life has been devoted to numbers and their science. Yet, Math17 can't seem to reciprocate my love. Ihateit. :( I think I'm going to get a final grade of 5 in Math17. Nooooooooo. :((
I'm so going to try and study harder. Swear, Lord. Help me, please? :)
I just won't and can't seem to forget. :P

new life? new me?

This is the first time I blogged again since I entered college (and I say that like i'ts been a really long time when the truth of the matter is that only a month had gone by since I first entered the University). So many things have changed, so many new people met, and so many memories now flutter by occasionally. Maybe I have changed too, maybe not.
It's really hard to cope up with the stress of college life. No one's there to check up on the class once in a while, to ask if every thing's okay or if some one's missing. I sort-of miss the nagging teachers, advisers, principals, and faculty members my High School used to have, it's hard to admit, but it's true. I still can't seem to fully grasp the concept of professors just letting us do our own things during class - not bothering to call our attention when we're not listening - or of students who choose not to attend classes just because they now can.
It's really tough to enter college when you're not prepared for a heavy workload. Imagine going to a University known for its bright students and academic superiority (not to brag) among the other universities in the Philippines. We have more difficult subjects to master, broader concepts we have to understand, and a wider country we have to serve - after all, we owe our education to them, to you. But that's the responsibility of students like me who studies at the University of the Philippines, we not only have to prove ourselves worthy of the high views of the common people, but we have to humble ourselves and serve the same people who look at us highly.
It's true that college could really change people, - their lives, their views on specific topics, even their perspectives in life - but behind the book-based effects of education, one who enters college would be moulded into the person they'll become in the future not by just what is taught inside the four corners of the classroom but also by the experiences of everyday college life.
From now on, I'd be able to post daily and make this a true updated blog. :) Come with me on my journey as I venture the wider spectrum of the world here in Manila. Kisses*!

TiGERS :)

Good news to me, people! :) I passed the entrance exam in UST or USTET as some of you may know it.
Today was the scheduled date for us to receive our exam results and I was late for flag ceremony. HAHA. When I got to the gate, I saw someone. I chose not to acknowledge his presence and just entered the gate. Then someone called me, it was also a friend of mine and immediately asked me if I passed. I yelled back at him a straight "no" and asked him why. He told me that those who passed will throw a party later this afternoon, especially another girl friend of mine. I was happy for her and nervous for myself. So I yelled to them, "hindi ko pa alam ea." Then I went inside.
When I saw my classmates, they also asked me if I passed. Truth be said, I said the same thing - that I don't know yet. And I approached my friend who they said had passed. She confirmed the news and my tension rose. I took the time to go online in the library using the wi-fi connection there to check my results ...
I PASSED! :) My first choice was Computer Science and the second was Accountancy and I passed both:)
My friends didn't know their applicant's number so they couldn't check yet if they passed or not. But they thought of a way to do so - by trial and error. HAHA. So they found out and most of us in our clique passed.
But bad news hit us when it came to our knowing that two from our clique didn't pass. They both chose med courses and they both failed in their first and second choices. One of them was the one who everyone thought had passed- but it wasn't her fault. Turns out, yesterday, our adviser told her that she had already passed. She expected, and was therefore frustrated. After all, she really wanted to go to UST.
But, they said that "God doesn't always gives us what we want. But He gives us what we need." TRUE. :) So I'll be waiting for the one I need since I already had the one I wanted - but he left. :((
Thank you Lord, for UST! :) Wish me luck on my UPCAT, ACET, and ADU exam. :)

reinvented

I know this is a little bit too late for "new" things this new year, 2010. But I thought that this holiday season would be a good opportunity and reason for me to change the lay-out of my blog:) So, yes. I did. And as all things going on with my life right now, it's unfinished. HAHA. But I'll get back to editing it soon- when I get the chance to do so again.
I've realized a few things over Christmas break. And I feel that the people close to me, [no offense] are the only people who deserve to know. Maybe when I already have the confidence to, I'd share some of those things with you, I promise.
Also, I've learned that life would never ever be happy forever. But well, that's life. And sometimes, life does suck. But with God, [no kidding] you'll probably be okay in the end. I've learned to somehow be content with what I have but still aim for the best.
I've understood that through the down's in life, you learn. Although I haven't fully recognized the benefits the recent happenings in my life will bring, I'm still thankful that my friends are always there to help me get by and wake me to the reality that they still need me.
Thank you, to the people who left me the past year. But most of all, thanks to those who stayed by my side, especially when my world's spinning and I didn't know where, when, and who to go to.
CHEERS TO 2010 :)

expectations, frustrations, and hope once again

Months ago, our adviser who was also the vice principal of our school announced to the senior batch [that's us] that we would be having our educational field trip or exposure trip at Corregidor. This was a first for our school because so many previous senior batches have been wanting this trip but only us got it. Everyone was agitated and was looking forward to the said trip.
Weeks before the scheduled date of the trip, my friends and I were already chatting excitedly about the things we'd do there and the places we'd get to visit. Being an even-numbered posse was in our favor for choosing our busmates wasn't a problem anymore. And as for me, I asked ladypresident to be my buddy on the trip. She had expertise in History where I lacked, and that was our advantage, not to mention our bravadoat English together. Prognosticating things were inevitable at this point.
When it was already time to submit the reply slips or waivers that our parents would let us come on the trip, I asked my mom to sign it already telling myself that she'd approve. But to my surprise, she didn't. I thought that she was just procastinating things again but when I asked her again after a few days, she sternly said "no" yet again. Feeling frustrated already, I shared the feeling with my bestfriend-slash-someone;) and I was irritated because he too, didn't want me to come.
Being a spoiled bratt, I still said to our adviser that I'd come to the trip and return the reply slip whenever my mom was done with it. But yes, I hadn't been able to come. I mean, if I only had the money and all, I'd still go. For whatever I wanted, I always got. And this was always the case. But not this time, though. :(
Today was the scheuled date of the trip and since early morning, I've been receiving text messages from my class/batchmates that they wished I was there with them and that it was fun there. They are now in the hotel and enjoying hotel privileges. I wish I was there, too. :(
We had classes today, the people who hadn't join the trip. But I hadn't gone to school. Due to depression, or frustration, I really don't know. The only distinct thing to me now is that I want to be with my class/batchmates in Corregidor, swimming in the pool, too.
But I don't blame my mom or him for not letting me come to the trip. I just wish I'd find something good in this whole experience. After all, this was the first time I hadn't come on the field trip. And this was even the senior year. I'd lost my chances on joining the retreat with my classmates, sleeping in a hotel with them, and maybe even going to Corregidor. But, oh well, there's always a silver lining after the storm, right? I wish that mine would be there tomorrow when I wake up.
Night, guys! Comment some time, will you? :)

democracy and freedom:)

Kayraming buhay na ang ibinuwis ng mamamayan
Matamo lamang ang pinakamimithing kalayaan
Dugo, pawis, luha'y inialay sa mahal na bayan
Ng karapatan at kinabukasa'y maipaglaban

Mga Pilipino'y humingi ng reporma sa Espanya
Sa gyera kontra Hapon, walang takot ding sumagupa
Nagpumiglas, makawala sa tanikala ng Amerika
Sa ilalim ng batas militar, buong giting na nag-alsa

Tulad ng isang ibon ay walang tamis ang mabuhay,
Ganda man ng paligid ay mawawalan din ng saysay
Maging mga bulaklak ay hindi mapapansin ang kulay
Kapag nasa hawla ka't buhay ay 'di matiwasay

Daang taong pagdurusa'y nagtamo ng gantimpala
Iniluklok din sa wakas ang demokrasya sa bansa
Mamamayan ang pumipili ng sa baya'y mamahala
Nabibigay nito'y pantay na karapatan sa madla

Subalit kalayaang hawak nati'y hindi malulubos
Hangga't patuloy na sa ibang bansa tayo ay busabos
Hangga't sariling produkto sa paningin nati'y menos
'Di natin masasabing tayo nga'y totoong natubos

Kaya nga 'di dapat maging kampante ang taumbayan
Nararapat lamang kalayaan ay ating bantayan
Sa isip, gawa't wika atin sanang patunayan
Sa ugat ng Pilipino'y nananalaytay ang kagitingan

Ang kalayaa'y isang biyaya ng Diyos sa tao
Mapalad ang Pilipino at ito'y ating natamo
Hindi kayang tumbasan ng anumang salapi o ginto
Maging kapangyarihan at kayamanang dulot ng mundo

We worked soo hard on this piece and I hope we win this Thursday:) Wish us luck! Thanks:)

decision-making

I'm currently in the computer lab in school and moments ago, we had a quiz about flowcharts in Computer Programming. And I decided to write a short blog about it now. I've realized that in life, like in Computer Programming, we have to make decisions even though some choices require us to give up something important. We still have to realize that one choice will always be better than the other and in the end, whatever you choose would affect your destiny. So be wise, and think twice. Sounds cliche? Well, life's full of it:)

the art of LoveLives

I have never been good at drawing, coloring things, or even expressing myself through the arts. I have never been the creative type and I think I would never be 'coz I firmly believe that "creativity can never be taught, it is within one's self."
So when our MAPEH class at school was taught by a new, more-experienced, and far more artistic teacher, I had a huge problem keeping up. He taught us to blend colors and draw first the sketch of the things which we were to color. Sounds cliche but I think the activities he made us do were obviously underrated. I didn't think that it was that hard to draw a palm tree, or a bamboo, or even an apple. GDI! I always had to ask my very artistic and creative seatmate, Milton Jason Tanedo for help. And I'm glad that he was always there to offer a hand.
But Love, Love is a different thing. In art, for me, no matter how many things you draw and no matter how many of them looks like the real thing, you will never learn to improve the way you draw them, unless you want to. On the other hand, in Love, after past experiences, whether you like it or not, it changes you. In some ways- obvious or not- little by little, you become less and less of yourself as before the actual relationship even began. And when it ends [because it's rare nowadays that you see people or couples in happy relationships] you don't know who you are anymore.
So many people [those whom I know] are breaking up these days. It upsets me because the couples who you'd think were gonna last forever, didn't. But for those couples whom you know won't really last long, it's not that appalling. And it kinda saddens me because it's like before, when my friends and I talk, we talk about the things that make us smile and the people who give us reason to do so, but now, it's like we talk about the effin' things they said and how the BS things they kept just surfaced now. Finally, I think that Love, like art- there's no exact way of doing it, you just learn to do it in your own way and accept that it's not perfect but atleast you made it:)
P.S.: I am not good at singing, I will never be great at drawing and coloring things, and I will never ever ever be sporty.:)
-- the author who hates MAPEH but loves L♥ve:)

idle time in the computer lab

Our lesson for today is Basic Programming and flowcharts. We had an activity and we made our own flowchart. Some of us finished early and some didn't. The ones who finished early were given a chance to use the Internet connection. Guess which group I belong to? HAHA. Anyways, everyone's checking out a different webiste here and I have nowhere to go because some sites are blocked so I decided to blog. To just say "hi" to people. :) And I think we have to go now. Bye! :)

a writer's irony

Let's say I have this friend- a bestfriend [Kristelle Dawn P. Fernandez]. And she has this friend, a someone who I know too but isn't that familiar, she writes. And she has a churchmate who writes. What with the avid reader that my bestfriend is, she secured copies of the short stories the two people abovementioned wrote. She followed every one, read them, and identified so litlle and sometimes so much with the characters embedded in the story. And with her being my bestfriend, she shared to me the stories which were not only deep, dark, but incredulously nose-bleed-worthy. Despite the fact, I read on. True enough, I could identify with some attitudes of the characters, and sometimes I just can't. Whatever the case was, the stories were still so great.
I don't know why but I actually reflected alot on the stories. They all start with paragraphs which discuss about the ironies of life. And in my opinion, for writers, that's the biggest thing we write about. More and more, we talk about them in our stories, poems, epics, and whatsoever form of writing there is left [and with I including myself as a writer, a beginner as I may be]. Somehow, when I read their stories, I said to myself, "why can't I ever write like this?" "why can't I ever think of stories which can take the readers into the story, feel the pains and the sufferings of the protagonists, and curse the antagonist?" "why is my ability to write limited only in blogging?"
I know. Blogging's not easy. It so isn't. But compared to the things I've read and heard, it's on the bottom step of a literacy staircase and they are on the topmost. The distance between them? 1o0? Or even a number I've never heard of in this world to depict an amount so large.
Many- in my view- have already complemented me on my blogging. And to them I reach out my deepest and uttermost gratitudes. But yes, I see myself only as a blogger. And not a writer. An incident in school earlier proved the case.
There was a journalism seminar to be held this coming weekend for two days in our school. And to be fair, our adviser asked us to nominate people who deserved to go to the seminar. Because who of all people would know our writing capabilities? Of course, the people who tease us when we say something incorrectly, when we use the wrong form of verb or wrong number of noun, and the people who praise us when we actually do good, our classmates. I was surprised to hear my name nominated by one of the people whom I attended review classes with. Apparently, he noticed that I got high scores on our grammar tests and vocabulary exams in the review classes and has praised me for my English since then. And then it was voting time. My name was called and I shook my head vigorously as if to plead people not to stand up. An opportunity I was passing by, but yes, I didn't want to go to the seminar. Call it lack of self-confidence, yes, I do think I don't deserve to go to such a seminar. And then, as if they understood my signal, only four people stood up. Then the person in front of me asked me if I wanted to go, and I said "no" so they didn't vote for me. In the end, I lost.
I always loved writing. I wanted to pour everything into words, to express myself through sentences which sometimes don't make sense to other people, and to let people know exactly how I feel by my compositions. But when given the opportunity to do it in front of a greater audience, I shy away and say that writing's not for me. Oh, what a great irony and dilemma this author has. :)

Love 'ko 'to :)

15. A date in May in which the author celebrates her birthday. But in her life, there are more special meanings to the number 15 . On that glorious day in December of 2007, a clique, or barkada was formed. And as all of you may already know, Arashii is the name of that barkada. And yes, today is another 15 that we get to celebrate our monthsary as a barkada. It's actually our 1 year and 6th months monthsary or our 18th monthsary. But, hey! Who's counting? ;)
Usually, we just greet each other with unending "happy's" whenever someone remembers the date. But today, I wanted to make a change. I wanted this day to be something special to remember. And although I didn't expect it, they liked the idea. The first we came up with was celebrating it at the house of Jem (where we usually go after school and we already call it the "Arashii house") and let her cook - she's a great cook, after all. But none of us had enough money because it's still time to buy requirements and get settled in school. So Jem, since she was craving for coke floats, she suggested that we go to McDo after school and buy floats. A simple idea, but we liked it.
And so we did. We ate and talked our hearts out. But since some of us had somewhere else to go, we left early. Although the time we shared together was brief, I still loved the idea of spending it with my closest and most loved girls in the world.
HAPPY MONTHSARY ARASHii! LOVE 'KO 'TO . :]
comments! :)

TYPICAL day .

Today , I thought it was going to be a typical day at school . Again . During the FC , of course , scolding time by Mr. Gatumbstone . Maybe it's his habit already . You know . Mentioning names of the people talking , nagging us about or behavior before, during, and after the FC, and telling us to note the daily reminders. Values was also typical . Since the presentation for the Linggo ng Wika, Sabayang Pagbigkas was alreadt next week and we only had 4 days to practice, we recited the piece and brainstormed about what exactly would be the content of our presentation. Geometry was also typical. Sir Lazaro was discussing a new topic . Those who did not understand the lesson aren't listening and those of us who understood the alien language and calligraphy of Sir Lazaro listened. It's always like this when it's Math time. It creates balance in the classroom. We had our break after that. Then something caught my eye . At the corner of the room was authorityaddict and violetsmarts dancing . Why are they dancing and what for .? The curious bug as I am, I went over to see. I asked them what was it for. They told me they're going to teach the elem kids the dance for the Sayawit comp. Cool ! I love dancing and kids . So I joined in. Not knowing that by dancing with them , I was already included in the group that will dance and teach the elem students. Violetsmarts left for a while 'coz she was called by emoguitarist for them to plan about our upcoming Sabayang Pagbigkas. (They were the ones to spearhead our sections because they're already veterans when it comes to these things and they also have the most ideas .) When we had already finished the dance, we went down to the elem classrooms to teach the kids. But the adviser in-charge was not there . We couldn't find her. So we postponed our activity until lunchbreak . We went down again. And this time, we saw the adviser in-cahrge already. We went to the primary bldg. for us to practice there. (It was waaaay more wide than the elem classroom.) So we teached the first section of kids. Unaware, chinesecorn, playboyfriend, violetsmarts, authorityaddict, and I sat at the bench. We were freaking tiiiiiired . But wait .! There's more .! Ha ha .! Another section of elem kids went out of their classroom . OMG ! We were to teach pa daw another section a different song .! And not wanting to be embarassed in front of the two teachers in-charge and the elem kids, our group made the dance . On-the-spot .! Successfully, we teached the elem kids a dance . It was a bit repetitive, but it's okay. Whew .! Glad we made it .! :) Then we went to the last section of elem kids we were to teach a dance today. It was an interpretative dance . We had made the steps but only to the first part. So on-the-spot again we made the dance. Cool! It was emo enough . :) We made it back in time for our last subject. Social Studies. The topic was about Greece. Lalalalal♥ve it. Greek Mythology and History . :) And dismissal time came. I came with presidentlady and tallbabe to SM . Actually , only presidentlady had something to buy . But since tallbabe and I are true friends, we accompanied her. Free ice cream kasi . :D Then I went home. Alone . And that's the end of my almost typical day at school .

why do airplanes fly alone .?

I knooow . Pilots and even geniuses could easily answer my title-slash-question . But read on .

Our dismissal time today was uber early . Why .? Well , simply because we have our periodical exams today . We normally have it quarter by quarter . And normally , if our dismissal was not this early , my friends and I would usually go home together . We'd walk to our respective houses destination by destination . Ha ha .! But on days like this , when the sun is shining pretty high on the horizon and it's f*ck*ngly hot , some of my friends would rike a trike home . But since I didn't want to spend for my transportation when I could just walk home , I asked animeartist if we could walk together . Since their village is on the left side of the highway , and I would turn right on the highway , she agreed , It's fair for the both of us . At one point or the other , we'd have to part ways . Unless , we live in under one roof . Ha ha .! We talked until we were to part ways . Simple goodbyes were said . (We don't like super emotional goodbye's when it comes to this situations . We'd only be apart one night . One night .) And as I walked home , alone , I had a hell lot of time to contemplate . Mostly about everything . But as I was walking down the peaceful , quiet , noiseless street , something in the sky caught my attention . An airplane . I know what you're thinking . It's not the first time I saw an airplane . But it's the first time I thought about it deeply . Why do airplanes fly solo .? I have never seen two airplanes flying side-by-side . Maybe because literally , they would be too close for comfort and would crash to each other . But why do humans feel alone when they fly through life solo .? Why do we need someone to fly with us through the storms and strong winds that come our way .? Maybe that's why we are specially created by Him . We need someone in our life to be with us through the good times and the bad times . Unlike airplanes , we cannot live alone .

Sir Thomas Malory

Sir Thomas Malory is an English writer during the medieval period . This I knew because our present topic in English III is the medieval period . Our class was divided into ten different groups . We were to research about the following topics :
* feudalism
* the concept of chivalry
* kinds of drama popular during the middle ages
- morality play
- mystery play
* Sir Thomas Malory
* Romance
* Popular literature works during this period
We were 38 in a class , so 38/10 , that makes it 3.8 right .? So most probably , we have 2 groups with 3 members and 8 groups with 4 . ( Lalalalalove it . Math .!) In our group , we are only three . All girls . Okay . We were to report what we have researched . F*ck*ng sh*t .! What .?! But as I was accustomed to in groupworks , I was always the one tasked to write the visual aid . I reported at times . But just due to extreme situations where in the reporting was individual . Ha ha .! So , me and my group mates were researching using different volumes of the encyclopedias our library has so that we could research many things at once . Then our teacher suddenly announced that there would be two reporters for each group . Exactly .! My other groupmates would be the one to report . Since we had so many groups , groups 1 to 5 would report on the next day and groups 6-10 would report two days from now . Cool .! I have enough time to slack off and make the visual aid tomorrow .! Ha ha .! Today , groups 1-3 had reported . We had no more time for gropus 4 to 5 to report also . As I was listening to the groups who reported , I was shocked to hear that Sir Thomas Malory in his past was a criminal . He was a known robber of big amounts of money , an attempted murderer and a rapist . For years he have been doing the same thing over and over again until the time of Edward ... (I forgot .! Ha ha .!) who sued him for his uncountable crimes . He was imprisoned . While he was in prison , he had idle time and he wrote the book " Le Morte D' Arthur " it was translated into already , I think , 29 languages .? And if that doesn't mean that it's a good book , f*ck you and have a nice day .! Ha ha .! It just proves that no matter how many wrongs we've done in the past , if we really motivate ourselves to change , we will . Sooner or later . And we shouldn't also judge someone by how many wrong things they have done . The only one who really knows them is , well , themselves . We don't have a right to judge them because we are not them . Perspective is not in the question .

Much is expected from YOU .

Everyday in school , we have our FC or the flag ceremony . It starts at exactly 7am . And the routine of the Harrellians is to go down to the covered court once they've heard the bell . Today , we did what we were already accustomed to . Once the bell rang , the elementary students was the first to go down . Us highschool students were always the last to go down . But to our shock , the elementary students went back . And they told us that we will have our FC in our respective classrooms . Fine . The FC in our classrooms were done through the PA system . The admin would pick students to lead the FC . Poor Harrellians . Their voices would be famous . Only their voices . But not them . The FC starts with the prayer . Then the National Anthem . And the Panatang Makabayan . Harrellian's Creed , Harrell Horne Hymn and finally , " Goodmorning and Godbless You Ma'am ______ !" I wish our FC today was as flawless as the plan . We didn't hear the leaders of the FC so we followed ourselves . Once the Harrellian's Creed was ongoing , we heard a voice . Familiar . Scary . Once we heard the voice , we all knew at once that we were in trouble . Our hair on the backs raising . Then the voice spoke " Go down .!!!! You go down .!!! You have your FC downstairs .!!! GO .!!! " We all knew what that meant . Uh-oh .! We did something wrong again . When all of us got downstairs , we started the FC again . From the top . Then we heard the voice from the 2nd floor , saying " Stop .! Stop that .!" She was pointing to us . And we could see the anger in her eyes . I was personally afraid . We stopped . ( We didn't want to get in any more trouble than we were in now .) Then she scolded us . I was in front . She asked us who were those three boys who were caught in the Lewis (the other section of the third year) . We all looked at the back . We knew which group to blame . They were always the one to blame . Then someone raised their hand . The other two came after . Then she said that the three of them must go to evolutionhero and tell him that they will not attend class 'coz they don't know how to follow the rules . What .?! Then she scolded us even more . The most hurting words she have said are only five little words . "Much is expected from you ." That hurt .! Especially for us awardees , the president of the class , and the SBO Officers . We were the ones she was blaming . We have superiority complex accdg . to her . And we weren't living up to the role of being an awardee . We were only awardees when it comes to academics . We were not wholistic . Stop .! I was already about to cry when she cut her nagging short and told us to proceed to the mezzanine , to the prayer room . She told us to reflect there for 30 minutes . Great . At first , she was guarding us at the door . but she left for , I think , 3 minutes .? And my friend , violetsmarts , the president of the class sat in front and talked to all of us . In the middle of her talking , she burst out into tears . I also bursted into tears . (It's hard to keep what you feel you know) I was super affected because I was also an awardee . The girl awardees cried . The boys were staying strong . Trying not to show that they are also deeply affected and deeply hurt by what we had just heard . We were not the ones doing something wrong . But still , we were the one who's more blamed than the others . We cried until the sound of the door opening reached our ears . She was back . And it was time to go back to our classroom . It was located in the 3rd floor and we'd have to pass 1 floor before we could reach the classroom . Trying hard to hide what had just happened , we quickly wiped our tears and pretended and acted as if nothing went wrong . And for the whole day , we kept in mind , us , the awardees , kept in mind those 5 words . And the most hurtful word of all . Expect .!

accuracy and precision

Actually , the title is somehow far from the main idea of this blog post . But it still is connected . Hahah .! Today was a rainy day . Before I left the house , I was doubting if I would bring my jacket because I already felt cold . I remembered that moodycutie brought home my jacket and she was supposed to give it back to me today . So I thought of my convenience . I didn't bring it . But as it turns out , she didn't bring it . It wasn't washed yet . I suffered for the whole day . I felt cold for the whole day . And as all of us know , it's better to sleep when it's cold . As Chemistry came , all of us felt sleepy . Our teacher pa naman was 25 % lesson , 15 % nagging , 60 % sharing of her life story . And we couldn't understand what she was teaching us . To be cruelly honest , she doesn't know how to teach . And today , our topic was accuracy and precision . I was f*ck*ngly uber sleepy that my eyes were already involuntary . It closes by itself . Hahah .! But as an awardee , I couldn't , shouldn't , won't and must mot be caught sleeping in class . Most especially that it was a major subject . I tried very hard to keep myself awake . It took a lot of my energy to do that . Then as I was thinking of a title or something to write in my blog today , I heard something from our teacher . Aha .! Words of wisdom . I think this was during the part two of her nagging . Haha .! And this was the saying she shared to us " Does the end justify your means .? And does your means justify the end .? " Wow .! What a good quote .! And this was the second thing she shared to us , " My professor once said that we go to school to unlearn , to learn , and to unlearn ." I kind of understand what she meant . But due to increasing drowsiness , I didn't bother to go to it deeper . What really fascinated me was the first saying . And I love words of wisdom that I can use in my daily life . So from now on , before I do something really stupid just to get what I want in the end , i'll think of that . And if all of it is worth it .!

who the heck is Avogadro .?!

Today , it was raining . As i was taking a bath , it was raining . As i went to school , it was still raining . And during the our FC , guess what .? It was still raining . So we were at the back . As expected , everyone was chatting . The reason was our adviser couldn't see us . Or so they thought . Hahah .! After the FC was the routinirary announcements . I couldn't hear it because of the noise of the people around me adding to the sound of the rain falling down to the ground . When we got to our room , I was surprised because our adviser wasn't there as expected . All were noisy . Taking advantage of the time that our strict adviser wasn't there to scold us . Hahah .! And we were all shocked when in the midst of our noise , the adviser of the other section of the third year entered our room . "What .? Why .? " were the initial reactions from my classmates . As we came to our senses , some of them asked , "Ma'am are you already our adviser .? Since when .?" And to our relief , she said , " No .I'm just here to give you the exam . " What .? What exam .? I thought of what exam could that be . As far as I know , it wasn't our periodical exam in Filipino yet . ( She was our Filipino teacher.) All of them seemed to know what test it was . I was completely and totally lost .! Then I heard some of them say , "It's just an assesment test. We need not to copy ." " Oh .! The psychology test .!" Whew .! We need not to copy . Assesment only . But psychology .?! Later I confirmed that the exam to be given was from the APSA ( some institution that asseses students on how well they know the subject specified . I don't really know the meaning . I forgot already .! Hahah .!) and the exam was called SBA ( I forgot also what this meant but i'm pretty sure that I memorized it earlier for blogging purposes . Hahah .!) The first exam given was English . No problem . It was easy . All the topics asked were discussed from our First year in HS up to present . And some involved vocabulary . NP . We finished at 9am . It was supposed to be our breaktime already but Bebe really loved us so she gave first the Math Assesment exam before giving us a break . Wt* .! Two headaches already before breaktime .? Aw .! As I saw the test booklet , my eyes widened .! Some of the topics asked was not yet discussed .! After answering those sure questions , I let my luck control me . Hahah .! I let my classmates pick from my four fingers and whichever finger they pick corresponds to the letter of my answer . Nice .! I finished the test . And I concluded that 45 % of the exam was all i knew . 55 % was pure guessing .! Now that's what you call an ideal student .! *Breaktime* We also had a hard time finding seats in the canteen because all of the HS students had the same breaktime . After breaktime was our Science Assesment test . My brain was already thought-to-death ( is there such a compund word .? Hahah .!) and the questions was all a blur . The only thing I remembered was this Avogadro guy . I don't exactly know who he is , what his contribution to Science or Chemistry is , but I was fascinated with his name . It sounds like the Tagalog term for lawyer , right .? Hahah .! I passed through the test just purely , wholely , solemnly guessing the answers for the questions . I need not the opinion of my classmates . The questions unanswered were too many that even if I asked the other section of the Third Year also , it wouldn't be enough . Hahah .! To my amazement , I finished the test .! Very nice , very nice .! We didn't care anymore if we all would get a failing grade . It would not reflect on us but on the teachers and the school . So , NP .! Hahah .! On this day , I proved that Filipinos are creative indeed . Think of it . 34 students each devising a unique and special way on how to guess the answers to the questions on the test . Whoa .! Hahah .!