reinvented

I know this is a little bit too late for "new" things this new year, 2010. But I thought that this holiday season would be a good opportunity and reason for me to change the lay-out of my blog:) So, yes. I did. And as all things going on with my life right now, it's unfinished. HAHA. But I'll get back to editing it soon- when I get the chance to do so again.
I've realized a few things over Christmas break. And I feel that the people close to me, [no offense] are the only people who deserve to know. Maybe when I already have the confidence to, I'd share some of those things with you, I promise.
Also, I've learned that life would never ever be happy forever. But well, that's life. And sometimes, life does suck. But with God, [no kidding] you'll probably be okay in the end. I've learned to somehow be content with what I have but still aim for the best.
I've understood that through the down's in life, you learn. Although I haven't fully recognized the benefits the recent happenings in my life will bring, I'm still thankful that my friends are always there to help me get by and wake me to the reality that they still need me.
Thank you, to the people who left me the past year. But most of all, thanks to those who stayed by my side, especially when my world's spinning and I didn't know where, when, and who to go to.
CHEERS TO 2010 :)

the art of LoveLives

I have never been good at drawing, coloring things, or even expressing myself through the arts. I have never been the creative type and I think I would never be 'coz I firmly believe that "creativity can never be taught, it is within one's self."
So when our MAPEH class at school was taught by a new, more-experienced, and far more artistic teacher, I had a huge problem keeping up. He taught us to blend colors and draw first the sketch of the things which we were to color. Sounds cliche but I think the activities he made us do were obviously underrated. I didn't think that it was that hard to draw a palm tree, or a bamboo, or even an apple. GDI! I always had to ask my very artistic and creative seatmate, Milton Jason Tanedo for help. And I'm glad that he was always there to offer a hand.
But Love, Love is a different thing. In art, for me, no matter how many things you draw and no matter how many of them looks like the real thing, you will never learn to improve the way you draw them, unless you want to. On the other hand, in Love, after past experiences, whether you like it or not, it changes you. In some ways- obvious or not- little by little, you become less and less of yourself as before the actual relationship even began. And when it ends [because it's rare nowadays that you see people or couples in happy relationships] you don't know who you are anymore.
So many people [those whom I know] are breaking up these days. It upsets me because the couples who you'd think were gonna last forever, didn't. But for those couples whom you know won't really last long, it's not that appalling. And it kinda saddens me because it's like before, when my friends and I talk, we talk about the things that make us smile and the people who give us reason to do so, but now, it's like we talk about the effin' things they said and how the BS things they kept just surfaced now. Finally, I think that Love, like art- there's no exact way of doing it, you just learn to do it in your own way and accept that it's not perfect but atleast you made it:)
P.S.: I am not good at singing, I will never be great at drawing and coloring things, and I will never ever ever be sporty.:)
-- the author who hates MAPEH but loves L♥ve:)

insomnia or the jitterbug .?

Just a few hours from now , our school will have a field trip . And I will join . ( No surprise about that .) And not an hour earlier , I finished packing my things . Now , i'm supposed to be sleeping . But OBVIOUSLY i'm writing this blog . Unless I was someone else . Huh .? How could that be .? Insane .!! I don't know what else to do to be able to sleep . And I don't know if this is caused by insomnia or the jitterbug . Am I too excited for the field trip later or i'm just sick again . Anyways , it hurts right now . I don't want any of my blogs to be emo . But I just can't help it . Why does this need to happen .? Pesky me .! I shouldn't even have gone deeper into him so that it wouldn't hurt this much . I discovered so many things . I know more about him than I thought I would ever know . But part of what I discovered about him is her . They're not actually together but they are an item . Ouch .! It hurts again .! Hay . Cruel life I have been given . I know that he doesn't readmy blogs so i'm safe . Unless you will sell me up . It's up to you . Hahah .! And for those who doesn't know him , much better if you won't . It's nonsense . It is rarely noticed . Unsignificant . So rathe not talk about it . Ok .? Especially with him . How I wish he feels the same way too . But what if he really _______ her .? Wth will I do .? Pretend as if i'm not affected and go on with my life or I will go away from him now to avoid further hurting .? Insomnia , or jitterbug, whatev .! I hate you .! You made me do this . If not for you , I supposedly am asleep right now . Not thinking about him and it .! F*ck .!

* shOwbiz Life .. *

When i was a child , i dreamed of being a celebrity in the future . The glamorous life ,, the money that could fill up a whole bank ,, people following you everywhere ,, your face on every billboard in the metro ,, it all fascinated me . But when i grew up ,, my view on artists changed . I woke up one day that i regretted all the dreams i had of ever becoming a celebrity . I was 10 then . And i was watching a talkshow with my mom inside our room .. ( insert static sound here . i'm not gonna tell you the station .) The host was interviewing a specific celebrity . She was pretty famous and i kinda liked her .. They were asking her about her relationship with some of the also famous co-stars of her (boys, of course ) and i'm pretty sure that some of them were just really good friends of her . Wt* !! They were still insisting the boys to her .. I could feel her irritation . And earlier , at school ,, I felt the same irritation as I did before . Why ? .. Because the section of the fourth years' near our classroom was teasing me . ( I know .. It's kinda childish .. But read on so you'll know the whole story .. ) Everytime I passed their classroom ,, they would yell ,, " M!! M!! Your dream gf is here !! " I'd get so irritated because M is my churchmate !! .. And i know for a fact that he has a crush .. But not on me .. And until the end of the day , they still teased me . Now i know the feeling of being linked to someone that never in a million years would you imagine that the two of you would be together .. It's so irritating ! .. Oh ! The life of a celebrity .. tsk tsk .. I wish that they'd stop tomorrow .. Wish me luck ! .. :)