Friend vs. Lover

"Mas mahirap palang mag-move on sa isang kaibigan kesa sa isang ex."

"Depende. Kapag kakakilala mo lang sa kaibigan, syempre hindi."

"Eh pano kung 'yung kaibigan na 'yun, madami na kayong pinagdaanan? 'Yung tipong lagi kayong magkasama, lahat na ginawa niyo together? Madali pa din ba?"

I thought I was over this. Why does it feel like I made the wrong decision when I know I didn't and I should have done this earlier on? I thought I've already moved on, but it hurts. So bad. I'm done pretending I'm okay with what happened and with what's happening. Enough of this facade.

But I can't force you to say "sorry". You can't even picture yourself saying it, right? So why would you say it to me? To some "friend" who knows you better than you do yourself? To the "friend" who's been there since the beginning and never left? Why?

I don't want to feel like this anymore but I have no choice. I don't know what to do anymore. Too much has been said, too many people have been involved.

I can't believe that our friendship ended just like that. After all we've been through? REALLY? This is how it ends? :| I don't wanna say anything anymore.

PS:  I'm sorry, I spilled almost everything again. The whole world knew before you did, again. I'm sorry I picked tonight to be mellow dramatic again.

PSS: I'm sorta, kinda, drunk.