Yet I know that their goal is to keep me from falling.

It's hard to understand when things aren't going as planned. It's tough to see clearly when emotions keep you blinded all along. And it's hard to jump into situations you can't handle on your own. You should have learned that by now. You should know how it would hurt. So wake up and open your eyes. Try to see what's really happening behind your fantasies and don't wait for them to become reality.

You never felt like you wanted to hug a person so much but you don't wanna be with them. Never felt that urge to kiss them every time you talk and see eye-to-eye. That feeling have never been stronger like it is now. And as he holds your hand because of the most trivial things like for asking you to accompany him somewhere or for you to notice he's talking to you, that spark becomes a current rushing through your whole body.

You don't know where you stand. You don't even understand every action and every statement. All you know is that you feel something but you haven't fallen completely YET. But you won't let it get that far, no. You have to control yourself because if you don't, you're the one who'll lose.

Enjoy it as it lasts and relish the moment when it hurts the most. Because you'll never be that happy and that hurt again. I'd rather have it fun at times, distant at others but always vague and confusing; Rather than it'd be crystal clear but never happy and always distant. Make a choice, stick with it. That's the way life goes. Never look back.