no matter how hard I try, i still can't forget.

Yes. By the actual meaning of it, I really can't forget that easily. But I always forget to update my blog. :P I'm so sorry, world. It's just because I've been way too busy with studying and I seem to forget my outlet of emotions, my blog.
I can't seem to conceptualize why studying now takes up most of my time but I know that I need to do so. Or if I won't I'll surely get a low grade fail. :( I'm purely angered by my Math17 professor when she says that her subject handled, College Algebra and Trigonometry is just a review of our previous lessons in High School. Well, a fvkingly tougher and more comprehensive review, that is.
As a matter of fact, I failed my first ever departmental exams .. in Math. OMG. I never thought I'd get to say that in my whole life. :( To think that my whole life has been devoted to numbers and their science. Yet, Math17 can't seem to reciprocate my love. Ihateit. :( I think I'm going to get a final grade of 5 in Math17. Nooooooooo. :((
I'm so going to try and study harder. Swear, Lord. Help me, please? :)
I just won't and can't seem to forget. :P

new life? new me?

This is the first time I blogged again since I entered college (and I say that like i'ts been a really long time when the truth of the matter is that only a month had gone by since I first entered the University). So many things have changed, so many new people met, and so many memories now flutter by occasionally. Maybe I have changed too, maybe not.
It's really hard to cope up with the stress of college life. No one's there to check up on the class once in a while, to ask if every thing's okay or if some one's missing. I sort-of miss the nagging teachers, advisers, principals, and faculty members my High School used to have, it's hard to admit, but it's true. I still can't seem to fully grasp the concept of professors just letting us do our own things during class - not bothering to call our attention when we're not listening - or of students who choose not to attend classes just because they now can.
It's really tough to enter college when you're not prepared for a heavy workload. Imagine going to a University known for its bright students and academic superiority (not to brag) among the other universities in the Philippines. We have more difficult subjects to master, broader concepts we have to understand, and a wider country we have to serve - after all, we owe our education to them, to you. But that's the responsibility of students like me who studies at the University of the Philippines, we not only have to prove ourselves worthy of the high views of the common people, but we have to humble ourselves and serve the same people who look at us highly.
It's true that college could really change people, - their lives, their views on specific topics, even their perspectives in life - but behind the book-based effects of education, one who enters college would be moulded into the person they'll become in the future not by just what is taught inside the four corners of the classroom but also by the experiences of everyday college life.
From now on, I'd be able to post daily and make this a true updated blog. :) Come with me on my journey as I venture the wider spectrum of the world here in Manila. Kisses*!

reinvented

I know this is a little bit too late for "new" things this new year, 2010. But I thought that this holiday season would be a good opportunity and reason for me to change the lay-out of my blog:) So, yes. I did. And as all things going on with my life right now, it's unfinished. HAHA. But I'll get back to editing it soon- when I get the chance to do so again.
I've realized a few things over Christmas break. And I feel that the people close to me, [no offense] are the only people who deserve to know. Maybe when I already have the confidence to, I'd share some of those things with you, I promise.
Also, I've learned that life would never ever be happy forever. But well, that's life. And sometimes, life does suck. But with God, [no kidding] you'll probably be okay in the end. I've learned to somehow be content with what I have but still aim for the best.
I've understood that through the down's in life, you learn. Although I haven't fully recognized the benefits the recent happenings in my life will bring, I'm still thankful that my friends are always there to help me get by and wake me to the reality that they still need me.
Thank you, to the people who left me the past year. But most of all, thanks to those who stayed by my side, especially when my world's spinning and I didn't know where, when, and who to go to.
CHEERS TO 2010 :)

insomnia or the jitterbug .?

Just a few hours from now , our school will have a field trip . And I will join . ( No surprise about that .) And not an hour earlier , I finished packing my things . Now , i'm supposed to be sleeping . But OBVIOUSLY i'm writing this blog . Unless I was someone else . Huh .? How could that be .? Insane .!! I don't know what else to do to be able to sleep . And I don't know if this is caused by insomnia or the jitterbug . Am I too excited for the field trip later or i'm just sick again . Anyways , it hurts right now . I don't want any of my blogs to be emo . But I just can't help it . Why does this need to happen .? Pesky me .! I shouldn't even have gone deeper into him so that it wouldn't hurt this much . I discovered so many things . I know more about him than I thought I would ever know . But part of what I discovered about him is her . They're not actually together but they are an item . Ouch .! It hurts again .! Hay . Cruel life I have been given . I know that he doesn't readmy blogs so i'm safe . Unless you will sell me up . It's up to you . Hahah .! And for those who doesn't know him , much better if you won't . It's nonsense . It is rarely noticed . Unsignificant . So rathe not talk about it . Ok .? Especially with him . How I wish he feels the same way too . But what if he really _______ her .? Wth will I do .? Pretend as if i'm not affected and go on with my life or I will go away from him now to avoid further hurting .? Insomnia , or jitterbug, whatev .! I hate you .! You made me do this . If not for you , I supposedly am asleep right now . Not thinking about him and it .! F*ck .!