It hurts to feel like you've been left by someone who never really came. Like you see the ending of a story that haven't even started yet. It's agonizing to wait for someone when you promised yourself from the start that you wouldn't be waiting. It's tough having to figure out whether he already left or he's just taking his time to figure out whether things will work out between the two of you, but still you wait. Because you couldn't do anything but it. Because the inevitable has happened. And whether you admit it or not, you almost fell. You thought there was something waiting down there. But really there's just an abyss of waiting, thinking, hurting and pain. So you get a hold of yourself and muster up all your strength to keep it from falling. You don't know how long you can keep this up but you still wait and think. Hopeless.
An online journal of feelings and desires.
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