PRiDE . and hindi pataasan ng pride, pakulitan lang ng way of saying sorry . :]

I was effin' pissed yesterday . Because he is mad at me . I just pinched him jokingly after someone punched him hard; is that too big a reason to be mad over? I guess not. So I thought that a good helping of Sumo would bring us to good terms again . But, he refused to take it and eventhough I know he's UBER hungry already, he let his pride take over him again. I tried so many times to beg for forgiveness but he just wouldn't budge . So I just let things be and if he ever decides to talk to me again, I presume it'll be in the right time. But when?! I felt like crying. 'Coz this boy that i'm talking about is not just a friend, more than, I think. But I certainly don't love him. Or do I? Or am I just trying to fool myself into believing that I still treat him as a friend, nothing more, and have no such romantic feelings for him? I really don't know. And I have no plan of knowing, i'm too scared to know the answer . Anyhow, I went on for the rest of the two hours we have left at school w/o talking to him or even noticing him . Ouch! That hurt. I think it's the thing inside me- the one that's always beating- shattering little by little and bleeding. But he was happy, which was more painful than not talking to him. And the thing that I was most afraid of came- dismissal. But he still wasn't talking to me . I'm afraid that this would drag on for days, weeks. :(( And it hurts me a lot that I can't do anything about it. When I got to school, I was early . I presumed that he was gonna talk to me that moment. 'Coz our room was located at the end of the 3rd floor and he was standing at the hallway in front of our classroom. Naturally, i'd have to pass by him if I was to go inside our classroom. I didn't know what to do. Whether I was to smile at him eagerly or just play cool. I decided to do the second one. But he then looked away as if he'd seen nothing. Ouch . When I had already put my bag down, I heard the bell ring which meant that we have to go down. Just then, someone called my name and invited me to go down with her. Being friends with everyone, I agreed. Little did I know that in front of her was him. He still wasn't talking to me. After the FC was the scheduled monthly mass for the Catholics. We were left in school and he was also Non-Catholic so he was there too. Every person or group that he talked to, I talked to, too. Hoping that he'd notice me. But he didn't. After the mass, my friend [whom i've shared my problem with] yelled my name and said to me, "PRiDE?" with a smile. Easily comprehending, I smiled back and started making parinig. I said that I was the one looking like a fool trying to ask for forgiveness and still someone was too ma-pride to forgive me. I think it worked 'coz he smirked at my friend. HAHA. Then, he gave my friend [who punched him hard] a high five which meant that he wants peace. Later on, he was the one making parinig and he was talking to my friend who punched him and said things like, Paano kung ikaw 'yung kurutin? 'Tas walang dahilan, trip lang, anong mararamdaman mo? He knew that I could hear it 'coz he was seating just two seats beside the one behind me. But I payed him no attention and pretended not to hear. Eager to make peace, he threw small pieces of paper at me just to get my attention. I was looking back at him each time he threw a piece of paper. But he was half-smiling, His guilty face which I loved so much and made him look more cuter to me. :] But still, I didn't mind him- playing his games. So I went back to writing - which was what I was doing at that point. And as I was accustomed to, I was writing on the desk beside me. Facing my body to him. With his long legs, he tried to move the chair where I was writing on and I got irritated. He moved the chair from me and I took it back. He kicked it forward and I took it farther forward. And I left my seat. I seated somewhere else where he followed and seated at the vacant seat right next to where I positioned myself. Again, I tried to change location and he was there to follow me and when I looked at him, he was smiling. I went back to my seat and still, he followed. Finally, I saw one vacant seat with no vacant seats in front, behind, or beside it. So I sat there, and he did not follow. Idiot! I thought to myself. But trying to pretend that I was glad that he didn't follow, I continued writing. And it was time to go down for our P.E. He played Basketball while I sat there, just watching him and thinking of ways to let him know that I finally want peace, too. I was scared to approach him 'coz i'm afraid that he would just ignore me and that would be too embarassing for me. For the 4th year who was courting me was there and he was soo jealous of HiM that if he ignores me, it would be a shame. But I gathered all my strength and came up to him and held out my hand for a high five . He looked at me and clasped my hand with his. He smiled and said, Peace na? Ayoko na aa. :] That was soooo KiLiG!!! SHUX. HAHA. Anyhoo, wanted to share the experience with you. Kakakilig kasi. :]